It’s a tough situation right now for parents because you want to protect your kids without making them feel different from their peers as that could backfire. I don’t know what the solution to growing use of phones and social media can be, but having an awareness of their impact in young people is a good starting point.
Exactly, it puts the pressure fully on parents to control their children which is impossible on a ‘personal’ device like a mobile phone. Was catching up with a friend the other day who told me how her son isn’t allowed any personal screen but sometimes they visit friends or family where the children do and he then does get access. He even told her once that was the best day of his life. If there are laws against kids smoking or drinking alcohol why doesn’t the government make some laws to protect children from social media?
The challenge is that we're in a digital world now and kids are exposed to phones everywhere. They cab see people using them around them all the time because now we deal with many things through an app, whether is paying bills or making social plans. Even if parents succeed in shielding them from using a phone eventually they'll want one to avoid feeling left out. It's no different from when I wanted a pair of trainers every kid in my school had and my mum got me Z knock-off ones so I shut up 😅
What a fantastic, well written, researched and thoughtful article!! Thank you!!! I agree with your assessment about the importance of fiction as well as the truth and impact of the show Adolescence 🤯 which contains brilliant writing, acting and filmmaking.
Thank you so much for reading it and glad to hear that it resonated with you. The show really made me think about what a different childhood and adolescence those of us growing up pre-internet had and how truly blessed we were. There were still challenges but at least people around us could spot them in the open. And yes, this series is a wonderful example of the power of fiction (which some people regard as less of than non-fiction) to convey an important message and make it relatable.
Thank you for writing and sharing it! And yes, in so many ways we (Gen X) are so fortunate! We got to experience computers are the beginning, back in chat-room days, watch the growth, understand how to use them AND not get caught up in all the negative drama that the next generations have had to endure :(
As a millennial I definitely remember taking a computer class to learn how to use email and messenger (or the equivalent back then) 😂 Now when I look back on that time I can't believe I was so trusting of strangers online...
Oh wow! We didn’t have computer classes but I taught myself, bought my first computer in 1986 and asked for a color monitor (EGA). When the salesperson said “what do you need color for” and I said “gaming” he said, “gaming, what’s that”? LOLOL
But yeah, trusting strangers online… same! I got a RL job, at a gaming magazine by talking to some rando on a chat board! 😳
I liked your intro story about your friend - it resonates as I seem to meet more and more people who don't read fiction due to 'lack of time', making it sound like a frivolous hobby for people who have the luxury to sit around and read. But the same people would watch an endless amount of movies, which are essentially fiction as well.
I honestly find so challenging what parents of teenagers have to go through today, that I'm glad I don't have kids... Your piece made me think of those informal social control mechanisms we had when we lived offline. If you behaved badly, a neighbor would see you and tell your family about it, or you couldn't ghost a person after a date because you had an entire social thread (tejido social -- I love this Spanish expression!!) around you, etc. In the online world, all of that doesn't exist, turning it into a jungle. A little bit like adult online dating, if I can compare the two. Of course, for teens it's much more dangerous.
You're spot on, Monica: it's that social fabric that we grew up with pre-internet that was so powerful in shaping behaviours as everyone was responsible in a way for enforcing decency. One clear example that comes to mind is that it was extremely odd that someone ghosted you romantically as everyone would know and demand explanations about such an odd behaviour. There was an organic control mechanism through friends, family, colleagues, etc.
And the comments about fiction as less of than non-fiction always take my by surprise as there is no need to pit one against the other. Now that I'm also a non-fiction reader I appreciate both and understand they serve different purposes. To me fiction is a vehicle to a world I can escape to and I admire the work that goes into creating such a convincing scenario in a way that can stay very vividly with us years after finishing a book (but also a show, a film, a play, etc) If that isn't powerful...
This is the trick isn't it Cristina - the need for positive role models and much much more time spent talking to someone who can help them process everything they are exposed to. Loved reading this.
Absolutely. I was just reading about Jamie Laing's running five ultra marathons to raise funds for Comic Relief and raise awareness about mental health. That's a great example of someone who csn have a positive impact on young boys to encourage them to talk about how they feel and that it's OK to feel the way they do.
Totally agree about fiction. It really is the gateway to empathy.
As a parent I wish I could give my child the 80s/90s childhood I had. Or at least get other parents onboard with holding the line against tech. It’s hard being the strict parent and feeling like you are going against the grain.
I've just realised my response to your comment was posted as a stand-alone comment (the joys of replying on the phone!)I agr ee that it's a very tough time to be a parent when much of the way young people interact these days happens online and we're aware that's not always a very safe place to be.
It’s a tough situation right now for parents because you want to protect your kids without making them feel different from their peers as that could backfire. I don’t know what the solution to growing use of phones and social media can be, but having an awareness of their impact in young people is a good starting point.
Exactly, it puts the pressure fully on parents to control their children which is impossible on a ‘personal’ device like a mobile phone. Was catching up with a friend the other day who told me how her son isn’t allowed any personal screen but sometimes they visit friends or family where the children do and he then does get access. He even told her once that was the best day of his life. If there are laws against kids smoking or drinking alcohol why doesn’t the government make some laws to protect children from social media?
The challenge is that we're in a digital world now and kids are exposed to phones everywhere. They cab see people using them around them all the time because now we deal with many things through an app, whether is paying bills or making social plans. Even if parents succeed in shielding them from using a phone eventually they'll want one to avoid feeling left out. It's no different from when I wanted a pair of trainers every kid in my school had and my mum got me Z knock-off ones so I shut up 😅
What a fantastic, well written, researched and thoughtful article!! Thank you!!! I agree with your assessment about the importance of fiction as well as the truth and impact of the show Adolescence 🤯 which contains brilliant writing, acting and filmmaking.
Thank you so much for reading it and glad to hear that it resonated with you. The show really made me think about what a different childhood and adolescence those of us growing up pre-internet had and how truly blessed we were. There were still challenges but at least people around us could spot them in the open. And yes, this series is a wonderful example of the power of fiction (which some people regard as less of than non-fiction) to convey an important message and make it relatable.
Thank you for writing and sharing it! And yes, in so many ways we (Gen X) are so fortunate! We got to experience computers are the beginning, back in chat-room days, watch the growth, understand how to use them AND not get caught up in all the negative drama that the next generations have had to endure :(
As a millennial I definitely remember taking a computer class to learn how to use email and messenger (or the equivalent back then) 😂 Now when I look back on that time I can't believe I was so trusting of strangers online...
Oh wow! We didn’t have computer classes but I taught myself, bought my first computer in 1986 and asked for a color monitor (EGA). When the salesperson said “what do you need color for” and I said “gaming” he said, “gaming, what’s that”? LOLOL
But yeah, trusting strangers online… same! I got a RL job, at a gaming magazine by talking to some rando on a chat board! 😳
We were the lucky ones!!
Those were the days! Finding a job like that must have been such a cool thing : )
haha yeah it was!! Thank you for acknowledging :) What a strange time but also full of expansion!!
I liked your intro story about your friend - it resonates as I seem to meet more and more people who don't read fiction due to 'lack of time', making it sound like a frivolous hobby for people who have the luxury to sit around and read. But the same people would watch an endless amount of movies, which are essentially fiction as well.
I honestly find so challenging what parents of teenagers have to go through today, that I'm glad I don't have kids... Your piece made me think of those informal social control mechanisms we had when we lived offline. If you behaved badly, a neighbor would see you and tell your family about it, or you couldn't ghost a person after a date because you had an entire social thread (tejido social -- I love this Spanish expression!!) around you, etc. In the online world, all of that doesn't exist, turning it into a jungle. A little bit like adult online dating, if I can compare the two. Of course, for teens it's much more dangerous.
You're spot on, Monica: it's that social fabric that we grew up with pre-internet that was so powerful in shaping behaviours as everyone was responsible in a way for enforcing decency. One clear example that comes to mind is that it was extremely odd that someone ghosted you romantically as everyone would know and demand explanations about such an odd behaviour. There was an organic control mechanism through friends, family, colleagues, etc.
And the comments about fiction as less of than non-fiction always take my by surprise as there is no need to pit one against the other. Now that I'm also a non-fiction reader I appreciate both and understand they serve different purposes. To me fiction is a vehicle to a world I can escape to and I admire the work that goes into creating such a convincing scenario in a way that can stay very vividly with us years after finishing a book (but also a show, a film, a play, etc) If that isn't powerful...
This is the trick isn't it Cristina - the need for positive role models and much much more time spent talking to someone who can help them process everything they are exposed to. Loved reading this.
Absolutely. I was just reading about Jamie Laing's running five ultra marathons to raise funds for Comic Relief and raise awareness about mental health. That's a great example of someone who csn have a positive impact on young boys to encourage them to talk about how they feel and that it's OK to feel the way they do.
I really enjoyed your thoughtful analysis of Adolescence, Cristina. 👏👏👏
I wrote about the show in today’s edition of Reels & Riffs and would love your thoughts on my approach, which is more from a parent’s perspective:
https://reelsandriffs.substack.com
Thank you, Erik. I was a bit skeptical of a show that seemed so perfect but it really is. Going to read your piece now, thanks for sharing it.
Another great and important article
Thank you for reading!
Totally agree about fiction. It really is the gateway to empathy.
As a parent I wish I could give my child the 80s/90s childhood I had. Or at least get other parents onboard with holding the line against tech. It’s hard being the strict parent and feeling like you are going against the grain.
I've just realised my response to your comment was posted as a stand-alone comment (the joys of replying on the phone!)I agr ee that it's a very tough time to be a parent when much of the way young people interact these days happens online and we're aware that's not always a very safe place to be.